drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
