We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
