super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize