I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if only i could text you this smell
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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