So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
