your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
