So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
