The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
