Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
