i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
