About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
