Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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