you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
