He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
