You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
