Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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