So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
