put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
