i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Congratulations! We have a period
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