dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
