Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
