Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
