if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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