problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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