my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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