I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
