They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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