he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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