between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
