Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
