It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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