Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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