i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We talked him into tasing himself.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
