I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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