I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
