i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
