Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
