thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
