I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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