I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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