Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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