Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
