im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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