You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
