piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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