I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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