i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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