Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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