I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
