My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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