Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
