i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
